"Therefore remove [the lusts that end in] sorrow and vexation from your heart and mind and put away evil from your body, for youth and the dawn of life are vanity [transitory, idle, empty, and devoid of truth.] Remember [earnestly] also your Creator [that you are not your own, but His property now] in the days of your youth, before the evil days come or the years draw near when you will say [of physical pleasures], I have no enjoyment in them." -Ecc.
I had this thought in church today: When we face our deepest selves -- the parts of us with sins, weaknesses, tendencies, and shortcomings -- it can be very vulnerable without worldly distractions.
One of my elderly friends from the nursing home (now 90 years old) once told me (paraphrased) that the later teen years to early adulthood years are the hardest time in life and that she would never want to relive them. I can attest to this as a 20 year old girl. The transition to adulthood is a time when a child becomes a grown-up. There is a type of forced independence that seems to be imposed on us. All of one's weaknesses tend to emerge during the transitions and changes that occur with new responsibilities. Sometimes, these are rooted in things from our past that need to be addressed and worked through in order to move forward.
Seeing these faults within ourselves can not only be scary but can produce insecurity, shame, and emotional, spiritual, mental, and physical deconstruction if we do not confront them. This world provides many shortcuts, cop-outs, and numbing mechanisms to avoid this confrontation. Especially at the high school / college age, many people mask their weaknesses with the worldly resources of drugs, alcohol, and even things as seemingly innocent as "busyness" and isolation. These coping strategies are an attempt to bury the insecurities and hurts and temporarily numb the pain. What young individuals often don't take the time to consider, however, is that our actions will indeed catch up to us. We become what we love, ritualize, practice, and make a habit out of. When we bury our problems, they will eventually bury us if we do not break the vicious cycle.
It is much easier to mask the pain instead of working through it, but it is not the least bit beneficial for our character growth and souls. Isaiah 48:10 reminds us: "Look, I have refined you, but not as silver; I have tested you in the furnace of affliction." It is often through our hardest seasons that God grows us the most if we allow Him to. When we avoid our pain, it will keep resurfacing -- and, as much as we stuff it down, it can emerge more painfully and with more baggage every time. It can be very tempting to approach hardship looking for a crutch or remedy, especially in a society that encourages us to do what makes us happy because "all we have is now." Yet, our souls are of utmost importance and we are only pilgrims passing through this temporary world. As scripture says, "Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal." -Matthew 6:19-20
We must present ourselves to ourselves and to others exactly how we are so that we can be met there and grow into the unique people that God created us to be.
I came to the realization that many older individuals will tell younger people that they "wish they would have known that when they were younger" or that the young person is "wise beyond their years." While I believe that these are heart-warming compliments and encouragements to hear, I think that there is also an underlying truth behind it. There are many older adults that live in regret from their past because they allowed their sins to be masked rather than confronted at a young age. Instead of facing those weaknesses head-on and working through them initially, they were left to dwell and resurface in painful ways in that individual's life and in the lives of those around them. This can be redeemed and this guilt can move someone to conviction and forgiveness (it is NOT too late no matter how old you are), but the point of this lesson is that this regret can also be avoided altogether.
This is why confrontation is vitally important. This is why we are the people that need to break the chains of generational issues. This is why we need to acknowledge that there are problems (within ourselves) to be addressed and it is time to stop putting it off.
Don't mask it -- confront it. If need be, reach out for help in this vulnerability. First and foremost to God (essential), and then to community.
"Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us." -Romans 5:3-5
P.S.: Let love cover all, as love covers a multitude of sins.
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